


The Courting

by TheSistersBread



Series: The Woes of Being Death [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Death, Heliopath, Helios - Freeform, Immortal Harry, Luna Lovegood & Harry Potter Friendship, Luna Lovegood is a Good Friend, Master of Death Harry Potter, Rebirth, Reincarnation, Summoning, Summoning Circles, dragon - Freeform, shiny things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29943975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSistersBread/pseuds/TheSistersBread
Summary: Thanos wants to court Death. Death doesn't want to be courted.
Relationships: Luna Lovegood & Harry Potter
Series: The Woes of Being Death [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2202210
Kudos: 97





	The Courting

"I summon thee!"

Harry curses as he is once more pulled away from the table.

Luna, his best friend, looks over concernedly as he begins to dissipate.

"I must say black doesn't really suit you."

Harry looks down to where his legs have faded into black mist.

"I'll have you know, I look very handsome in black!"

"I can't see you so where am I meant to look?"

He tells himself that he didn't respond because his mouth had already faded by then.

* * *

"Death!", the summoner cries out as a wispy figure begins to form.

When it responds, it is nothing like expected.

"Who are you?" the voice is not deep and demanding but instead tired and annoyed.

The summoner is fairly sure Death is not supposed to sound like that but this is Death.

They are not going to say anything stupid.

"I am Thanos and consider this a courting gift."

The titan snaps his fingers and half the population is wiped out.

Harry doesn't feel the need to do anything as flashy, simply raising an eyebrow.

"I do not wish to be courted."

The Titan looks stunned - as if Harry's just broken apart his dreams or something.

Maybe he has.

Anger comes next and Thanos attempts to crush Harry.

As if he can just crush Death.

"What are you?" the Titan spits.

"Death." Harry wonders how long it will take for Luna to get bored and enter the swirling vortex of energy left behind with his departure.

The Titan seems inexplicably infuriated by his bland tone.

It's not like Harry chose to get summoned!

Their until now silent audience finally steps in.

"I like you." a man in a red suit says.

Harry turns to face him and replies simply.

"Why?"

"Because you're the bestest friend ever and-"

"What do you want Luna?"

Luna only speaks like that when she is playing the little girl and big scary Death game.

Immortality is boring - can you blame him for wanting a little fun with his best friend?

"Those stones are really shiny."

"I swear you're such a dragon."

"I wish I could breathe fire..."

Never mind, divert!

"What happened to the last shiny stone I got you?"

"I gave it to a Faery so she wouldn't eat me. She was so grateful, she even led me to a Crumpled-Horned Snorkack."

"Really? You didn't tell me-"

"Death!"

"Hm."

Thanos takes another swipe at Harry.

It doesn't work.

"I found a Heliopath the other day too."

"A Heliopath?" Harry is aware he is screeching but the idea of Luna with a pet Heliopath is disturbing.

"I left him in the 'I Manage Mischief' world. I think the twins would approve."

Thanos tries to stab him this time.

At least he's not a one-trick pony.

"Do you think you could stop that?" Harry asks calmly.

The Titan's only response is to try to decapitate him.

"Clearly not." Luna returns. "This has been fun but after we take the shinies - thanks! - can we go? Now would be nice before he tries to stab me too."

"I would love to but we happen to be in a Summoning Circle. Is there any chance you could let us out?" 

The man in the red suit falters as if letting them out would result in complete death and destruction. 

He is Death though so...

Oh well.

"Luna? Apparate us?"

"Bye!"

* * *

"I feel like we forgot something..."

"A big, mad Titan?"

"That sounds about right."

"Don't worry about that."

"Luna - what did you do? Actually -"

"Don't worry, I only called in a favour."

"That's making me worry."

"I have to entertain myself somehow."


End file.
